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Olives Boligarky: Thanks so much for being here with us today.

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OB: So let me start by asking you, are you still working?

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OB: Right, it HAS been awhile since your master, Law, went crazy and tried to leave GI Joe and join a cross-dressing circus.  He was obviously a little mixed up.

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OB: Exactly, it must be difficult to transistion yourself from border patrol/fringe Joe character into a working class dog.  Have you done any TV work since then?

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OB: Sorry, sorry… I forgot about that Lassie reunion special.  You played Lassies’s love interest.  How was that?

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OB: Oh, I didn’t realize that Lassie was played by a male dog.  Sorry to hear about that.  But it looks ok now.  You seem to be walking ok, except for that slight limp.

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OB: Ok, I’ll change the subject.  What about your personal life, if you don’t mind me asking, have you made a time for family?

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OB: WOW, 329 litters!  With 278 mothers.  Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

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OB: Ah, that’s nice that you take such an interest in their lives.

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OB: Yeah, I think I DID see that commercial.  How do you feel about your son taking after his father’s footsteps?

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OB: Yeah, it must be cool to see the acting bug take effect and to see your lil’ guy up on the big screen.

OB: ACTUALLY, you never played MP’s dog onscreen.  You were just an action figure…

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OB: Once again, changing the subject, but let me first ask you, how did you get into acting if you were just a patrol dog with Joe?

Order: Bark bark bark.  Ruff ruff.  Bark ruff ruff.  Yip yip yip bark bark.  Grrrrrr bark bark yip.  Ruff ruff.  *Whine*

OB: I didn’t quite catch that, you said you left GIJoe after your master went crazy, went to California, got a job as a bouncer in a nightclub, used to service movie industry workers with an animal fetish, and eventually met up with which big Hollywood producer?

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OB: That’s what I thought you said.

Order: Bark Bark.  Yip ruff ruff.  Bark. *Whine*

OB: Oh, I had no idea.  So some of your other children also followed your footsteps by joining the military.  Amazing.  That must be difficult.

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OB: Exactly.  With today’s tender global-political climate teetering between peace and chaos, it’s a very difficult time to be in the military, or have a loved one gone for such a long time.  I wish your children all the best…

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OB: You’re right, let’s focus on what’s really important here one more time – Toys.  You were a popular toy, because you were almost a 2-for-1 deal, a human and a dog, all in one package at the very same price as any other more pathetic action figure.

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OB: Really?  They only packaged you together because he was so boring on his own.  Interesting, but not particularly surprising.  It looks difficult to take on a persona of an elite fighting force member, where your job is to make sure Shipwreck cleans up Polly’s droppings, or that Road Block doesn’t keep pimping out Lady Jane…

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OB: Hmm, that is fascinating.  I never knew that about Snake Eyes.  You’d think a guy who covers his entire body and face would be able to keep it in his pants.

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OB: So, what about your future plans?  Where do you hope to be in a few years from now?

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OB: Dogs only live to be 20 years old?

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OB: You’re 19?

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OB: Well, then… a… yeah.  I guess we should wrap this up while you’re still… uh. Nevermind.

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