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Olives Boligarky: Welcome General Kael.  We are pleased to have you here to speak with us today.

General Kael: Let’s make this quick.  There is plenty of destruction and terror planned for today.

OB: Well, I’ll try to get through my questions as quickly as I can.  Let’s talk a bit about how you go into the military.

GK: I was an orphan always getting into trouble.  I saw that an evil army was recruiting to take over most of the land, so I figured it would be my way to see the world, maybe pay for college someday.

OB: But you didn’t go to college did you?

GK: No.  I became a career soldier.  I was strong and quick, excelled with the sword, and cunning in command.

OB: Impressive.

GK: Yes, I rose through the ranks quickly and now sit atop as general, second only to Queen Bavmorda herself.

 

OB: Wow.  What do you do for fun?

GK: What do you mean 'for fun?'

OB: Surely you find time to get away once in a while.  What do you do when you’re not storming through villages are trying to prevent prophetic babies from destroying your sorceress queen?

GK:  The job never really stops.  There are always more to kill, more to torture, more to destroy…

OB: That is very sad.  I hope you find some sort of happiness at the end of the day.

GK:  Happiness?  I never even think about myself.

OB: Ok, ok.  You go on vacation, but can you answer my questions first?

GK: Sorry, go ahead… OH, you wanted to know about the satisfaction of the job.  Well, when I’m hunting down some no good treacherous fool, I like to corner him in the woods.  Surround the area with wild dogs so he can’t escape.  I approach slowly, and menacingly.  Usually, by the time I meet his gaze, he has already soiled himself.

OB: Whoa, intense.

GK: Yes, and then I approach closer.  Draw my blade, and end it in squish of sliced flesh.

OB: I think I might be sick.

GK: Sometimes I like to lick the blade.

OB: Oh, this interview is over.  Have fun in Aruba, sicko.

GK: To Nockmar!

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