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Olives Boligarky: Storm Shadow, greatest ninja warrior of Cobra.  What an honor to have you speak with us today.

Storm Shadow: Greatest ninja warrior period.

OB: Of course.  Of course.  We were a bit surprised to hear that you requested an interview.  Usually it takes a lot of effort on our part to find people that are willing to do this.

SS: I requested this interview for two reasons.

OB: Great, well what exactly is it that you want to talk about?

SS: First off, I’d like to give you a brief summary of my continuing battle with the forces of G.I.Joe.

OB: Please, go ahead.

SS: For over 20 years, I have honed the ninja arts.  I have carefully remained faithful to my clan, my honor, my heritage.  Not like those Joes, reveling in the freedom they believe they bring to others.  They are mistaken however.  They cannot deliver what comes from the beyond to all living things.  Nor can they take it away.  They have sought to apprehend me, because I work for Cobra.  I believe in creating order.  Cobra Commander believes in conquering the world to bring order out of chaos.  I embrace the inception of order from chaos, and so I fight along side him.

OB: Amazing.  I’ve never heard it put exactly like that before.

SS: I know you haven’t.  I have remained silent for all of these years, locked in an eternal struggle with the ninja – Snake Eyes, while nearly powerful as I, he clings to this notion that he brings freedom.  But he only perpetuates chaos, fighting the inevitable order that we shall create.

OB: In my experience, most people always thought you were the cooler ninja.

SS: Well, that is pleasing to hear.

OB: So, is that all you wanted to say?

SS: On the contrary, I have not even begun the first step of my purpose today.  First, I want to introduce you to my newest protégé.

OB: Wow, who is it?

SS: To introduce him properly, I must make you aware of his extraordinary experiences.  He has braved thousands of miles of travel, often amongst those who would devour him as easily as glance at him.

OB: Oooh.

SS: He is one who has learned from the stings of nature.  He knows how to blend into his environment, escape danger, and strike only when needed.  He has battled many, and he continues to survive atop.  His grace and skill are unmatched in all who I have previously seen.

OB: So WHO is it? Who is it?

SS:   It is…

SS:  NEMO!

OB: Uh… what?

SS: This little fish is a fierce ninja warrior.

OB: Little fish?  He looks pretty big to me.  How does he battle above watter?

SS: Above water?  He doesn’t battle anyone above the water.

OB: So you’ve trained him to fight underwater?

SS: Exactly.  The earth is nearly 70% water.  He is the master of the water, and covers more of the planet than all of G.I. Joe and Cobra – COMBINED.  HA HA HA.

OB: UH, ok.  Who’s he fighing?

Nemo: I’ve mostly fought pirates.  Ninjas hate pirates.

OB: Oh God, please not that.

SS: We are training together now along the seashore to battle any pirates we see.

OB: Forget it, we are not bringing up that ninja-pirate thing.  Don’t even think about it.

Nemo: But we hate pirates!

OB: Whatever.  Ok, you’ve gotten your chance to introduce your new protégé.  Is there anything else?

SS: Why, as a matter of fact there is. I told you there were two things.  The second is to help you in your quest.

OB: Quest?  I don’t have a quest.

Nemo: Uh, can I head back to the water?  I can’t hold my breath any longer.

SS: Of course, go on my apprentice.

OB: Uh, thanks Nemo – what quest?

SS: I hear you are seeking the master of a robot.

OB: OOH, that fucking robot.  I hate him.  How can you help me?

SS:  I think you need to think back to how the robot acted.

OB: What do you mean?

SS: Well, think back.

OB: Hmmm...

OB: I don’t know.  The freaking robot tricked me, then he ran away when I threatened him.  He was kind of a big chicken really.

SS: A chicken eh?  A chicken robot?

OB: Yeah, a chicken robot… a chicken robot… where does that sound familiar?

ROBOT CHICKEN!  It’s GREEN!  That bastard.

SS: You are welcome.  Farewell. 

OB: GREEEEEEEEN!!!!!

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