Spiderman: Rent's due.

Luke: Already?

Spiderman: Every month I tell you the rent is due, and every month you say "Already?" Why don't you get a calendar?

Luke: I have one. It's a motivational calendar. It's called "Luke, don't forget the fucking rent ever again. From your landlord, Spiderman."

Spiderman: I know. I got it for you so you wouldn't forget the fucking rent.

Luke :It's got kittens and puppies on it.

 

Spiderman: I know. I bought it.

Luke: You should see the picture for April. This puppy is sleeping, and the cat is -

Spiderman: Just give me the money already.

Luke: Alright. Hang on a second.

Luke: Yo Bats. You still got that money I told you to hang on to?
 

Batman: Duuuuuuuuuude...you'll never believe what happened.

Luke: I bet I will.
 

Batman: Check it out check it out check it out. Yoda was having car troubles again, and he just got fired from his job at that museum or whatever. So he calls me over and asks if I'll help him work on it.
 

Luke: *SIGH* Uh huh.
 

Batman: So I go over, and he's all like, "Dude, let's not even work on it. I just got a bag." So I'm like "Score," 'cause I didn't really want to work on it in the first place, and he's always good for smoking me up.

Luke: Right.
 

Batman: So we're like smokin' and watching Iron Chef, and Yoda's all like "I'm hungry!" And I'm like "Me too!" So we went down to Rally's and got some food. And you'll never guess who was there.
 

Luke: Who?

Batman: Guess.

Luke: No.

Batman: Dude, just guess.

Luke: No.
 

Batman: One guess!!

Luke: All the guys from Cameo and Shalamar.
 

Batman: Better - Yoda's hookup.

Luke: Ah.
 

Batman: So he's like "How'd it treat you?" And we were like "Extremely kind." So he's like "You wanna buy some more?" So I go "Hells yeah." So he goes "How much?" And I'm like "All you got."
 

Luke: Okay, so you bought the weed. Just give me the rest of the cash and I'll cover you. You can pay me back on Friday.

Batman: There's none left.

Luke: WHAT?
 

Batman: He had a lot, man.

Luke: You spent $1200 on weed?

Batman: Chill out, broham. Take a hit.

Luke: You know I have asthma!
 

Batman: That's the pits, bro.

Luke: Sometimes I wonder why I even let you stay here anymore.
 

Batman: I saved your life. You owe me a life debt.

Luke: Well then I hope I die.
 

Spiderman: What took you so long? You were in there for like five minutes!

Luke: Batman spent all the money on weed again.
 

Spiderman: He's lucky I owe him a life debt, or I'd call the cops on him.
 

Luke: You owe him a life debt too?

Spiderman: Everyone does. How do you think he's gotten by for so long?

Luke: Where does he get those wonderful toys?

Spiderman: Not funny.

Luke: I wish they'd never instituted that "life debt" policy.

Spiderman: I wish I would've voted against Batman when he ran for president. That way he'd never have stopped the polar ice caps from melting, and he'd never have been able to get that stupid policy pushed through Congress.

Luke: Yeah, I didn't vote either.
 

Spiderman: Voter apathy is awesome.

Luke: Awesomely gay. A-thankyou!
 

Spiderman: Well anyway, I still need that money.

Luke: But I'm gonna have to sell my car!

Spiderman: God, you really are a whiny bitch. You've got exactly two days to get me that money.

Luke: If Dirty wants his money, I think y'all should give him his money.

Spiderman: Also not funny.

Luke: Okay. I'll have it for you. Just give me a couple days.
 

Spiderman: I just said you had two days.
 

Luke: Yeah, I wasn't listening.

Spiderman: This is important.

Luke: Well I was trying to remember the lyrics to the theme from "Punky Brewster." So that's important too.
 

Spiderman: No, it really isn't.

Luke: Well, I don't actually know what "important" means, so I was just trying to make conversation.

Spiderman: Just get the money, retard.

Luke: "You're a friend and a confidant!"

Spiderman: That's from "Golden Girls," asshole.

Luke: What is?