Dusty:  So Shipwreck, Blowtorch tells me you have some sort of problem.

Shipwreck:  What?  He told you?  Son of a... Dude, why'd you have to bring Dusty into this?

Blowtorch:  I just thought he could help you out.

Shipwreck:  How so?
 

Dusty:  Well Shipwreck, I have a gay cousin, so I know exactly what you need to do to be the exact opposite of him.

Shipwreck:  Uh... I don't know that it's just as easy as that...

Blowtorch:  Sure it is.  Let's just listen to what Dusty has planned for you.
 

Dusty:  Well, first thing I need to know is how advanced the problem is...  are you attracted to other men?

Shipwreck:  No.

Dusty:  What about men dressed as women?

Shipwreck:  No.

Dusty:  What about a tranny?  Some of them can be pretty hot...

Shipwreck:  Dude.  What the fuck?
 

Dusty:  Well you know, sometimes you can’t even tell that they are guys… 

Especially after a few drinks…

Or 18 drinks…

Of Sakè…

In Tokyo…

Her name was Cherry Brossom…
 

Shipwreck:  Dusty… Dusty?

Dusty:  Oh.  Sorry.  Yeah, so uh… you like those trannies?

Shipwreck:  No, No, NO!

Dusty:  Ok, well we don't have to alter your thinking.

Shipwreck:  Why am I here?

Blowtorch:  C'mon buddy.  Let's just see what happens.  If you don't like what Dusty and I have in store for you, it's not like you can't go back to being the same old shipwreck.
 

Shipwreck:  I guess that's true.  Somehow I just don't think you know what you're doing.

Dusty:  Why would you think that?

Blowtorch:  Yeah, why?

Shipwreck:  Oh, let's just call it a hunch.  Don't you remember when you had that brilliant plan to breed a bunch of ligers and sell them on the black market?  You know Flint has never forgiven you for losing that finger...
 

Blowtorch:  Ok, Ok buddy.  One of our ideas was a little silly, but you gotta take risks to make the cash.

Dusty:  Cha-Ching!

Shipwreck:  Damn Rally's.  Damn Seth Green.

Dusty:  Seriously, Shipwreck, I’d think that you’d be more greatful that we’d be willing to spend all this time and money on this sort of project.

Shipwreck:  Kind of like the time you two tried to dump those green skittles in the river for St. Patrick’s Day…

Dusty:  Let’s not get into that now.  We’re here to help you out.
 

Blowtorch:  Yeah, what are friends for?

Dusty:  Ligers are bred for their skills in magic you know…

Shipwreck:  No good can come of this.

to be continued...