Slaughter:  So Shipwreck, your friends tell me you are looking to get into shape.  They mentioned something about phase 1 of their makeover…

Shipwreck:  Oh, yeah those guys…  I’m just uh… I’ve had a little problem lately…

Slaughter:  What type of problem?

Shipwreck:  Umm… I guess you could say I’m having trouble attracting the ladies.

Slaughter:  Can’t imagine why you’d want to.

Shipwreck:  What do you mean Sarge?

Slaughter:  Oh, maybe you didn’t know.  I’m gay.

Shipwreck:  Really?
 

Slaughter:  Oh yeah.  In fact my wedding was just a month ago tomorrow.  That lil’ bitch better remember our one month anniversary.

Shipwreck:  Sarge, I had no idea…

Slaughter:  Well, we’d better get to this workout already.  Why don’t you start with push-ups, I’ll tell you about my lil’ Adam.
 

Shipwreck:  Ok. Sarge… but there’s something I want to ask you.  You see, lately a lot of guys have been…

Slaughter:  I SAID GET ON THE FLOOR MAGGOT!

Shipwreck:  Ok, Ok, I’ll start the exercise, but I just wanted to ask you…

Slaughter:  NOW!
 

Shipwreck:  So Sarge.  I could really talk to you about this problem.

Slaughter:  I already told you that I don’t know much about getting the ladies attention.  I haven’t been looking for a lady’s attention since the late 70’s.

Slaughter:  Now I believe I was going to tell you about my Adam.  KEEP DOING THOSE PUSHUPS!

Shipwreck:  Yes Sir.
 

Slaughter:  Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance.  He looked kind of nice and so I said I might take a chance.

Shipwreck:  Oh were you at a club or something?

Slaughter:  When he danced he held me tight.  And when he walked me home that night...

Shipwreck:  Oh, he walked you home.  That’s…

Slaughter:  All the stars were shining bright.  And then he kissed me.

Shipwreck:  Just like that eh?  Aggressive type.
 

Slaughter:  Each time I saw him I couldn't wait to see him again.  I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend.

Shipwreck:  Well, I’d think kissing a dude is a pretty good indication that it’s not friendship you’re after…

Slaughter:  I didn't know just what to do.  So I whipsered, "I love you."

Shipwreck:  Wow, you knew that quickly?

Slaughter:  And he said that he loved me too.  And then he kissed me.

Shipwreck:  Yeah, you already mentioned that he liked kissing you…
 

Slaughter:  He kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before...

Shipwreck:  Well, frankly I haven’t been kissed that way…

Slaughter:  ♫♪ He kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forever mooooore.  ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Well… I guess it’s good that you got married then huh?

Slaughter:  ♫♪ I knew that he was mine so I have him all the love that I had.  ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Oh.  I… uh…

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad.  ♫♪

Shipwreck:  I’m surprised that you two got so serious so quickly…

Slaughter:  ♫♪ Then he asked me to be his bride... And always be right by his side. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Bride?
 

Slaughter:  ♫♪ I felt so happy I almost cried.  And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Yeah, yeah.  You’ve mentioned the kissing.

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Are you even listening to what I’m saying?

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Sarge?  Hello?

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  Wait a second… I’ve heard that story somewhere before…

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  I know I’ve heard it before… isn’t that a song?

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪
 

Shipwreck:  SARGE! You’re not listening to a word I’m saying!  You’re just singing over and over…

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪

Shipwreck:  I can’t take this shit.

Slaughter:  ♫♪ And then he kissed me. ♫♪Shipwreck:  I’m gonna kill those clowns for getting me into this…

to be continued...