Shipwreck:  Hey there, you Torch?

Torch:  I sure am, silly.

Shipwreck:  Uh… you’re helping me with my wardrobe right?

Torch:  Of course I am.

Shipwreck:  So you uh… uh, you uh know what I’m going for here?

Torch:  Of course I do.  You don’t want to look gay.  So, leather chaps are our…. Hee hee hooo.
 

Shipwreck:  I didn’t mean to offend you.

Torch:  Oh please, baby.  You couldn’t offend me with fried monkey on a stick.

Shipwreck:  What?

Torch:  Nothing doll, now let’s get you all situated.  I’m thinking tough knit sweater, dark trousers, maybe a cap of some kind.  We just need to get you out of these clothes.

Shipwreck:  Hey, hey.  What do you mean.
 

Torch:  You just need to trust me, I’m not going to bite you… unless you want me to.  Hee hee hooo.  Ahh, you straight guys really have no sense of humor do you?

Shipwreck:  Sorry, I’ve just been through a lot today.  My friends think this is some sort of brilliant idea to get me laid, but the whole thing is stupid.

Torch:  Whattya mean sweetie?

Shipwreck:  Well, it seems that there are lots of gay guys around here.  They seem cool enough to me, but they don’t look any different than any other guys.

Torch:  Well, some of us DO like a little more pizzazz.
 

Shipwreck:  Fair enough, but I guess I realized that this whole thing has been a waste of time.  The whole problem was in my head all along.

Torch:  Well, I didn’t give you enough credit.  I thought you were as stupid as Dusty and Blowtorch, but you seem to be a pretty cool guy after all.

Shipwreck:  Thanks, so I guess we don’t have to go through with this.  I am just going to go and ask Deanna out.

Torch:  Hold on a minute sweetie.  We might as well finish off the package while were here.
 

Dusty (interrupting):  Hey fag, don’t you touch his package!

Shipwreck:  Dusty, you idiot.  Torch is just helping me pick out clothes.  Damn you are stupid.
 

Dusty:  What?  Huh?  Oh… oh yeah, the whole makeover thing.  You’re still doing that huh?

Shipwreck:  I hate you Dusty, I hate you.
 

Torch:  Boys, boys, boys.  Let’s get this job done, so you look the part okay?
 

Shipwreck:  Yeah, I could do with some new clothes, and then I’m going straight out there, and I’m gonna score.
 

Dusty:  That’s what I want to hear.
 

Torch:  You go boys.

to be continued...